Thursday, May 28, 2009

Cheating...!

Why do people cheat? Isn't one person enough?

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell
asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub
them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had
sex all afternoon."

"You lying bastard!

You've been playing golf!"


And its not just limited to men! A recent study in found that Australian women are as equally interested in an orgy as men! That may not necessarily mean its cheating though...

The 2nd Affair:


A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a
son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the
two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"



If we know that one spouse can get boring, is ok to deliberately wander every so often? We don't eat the same food everyday because it is boring...


The 3rd Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front
door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I
got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich
and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the
Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."



Is vengeance the right answer?

The 4th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought.

He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle
of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.

"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied,

"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."



Or is homicidal vengeance the answer?

The 5th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best
friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."


Why do some people cheat? Is it because they are hurt by others? Is it ok to cheat if you have been cheated on? or should one just curse their luck and move on...

45 comments:

Valerine said...

Well EISI...in the fist place m wonder what made u write such a post? Nd on the post.....having an orgy is definitely not cheating! But how u compare food with spouse? I mean we dun ever wear same clothes every day...but then there is some reason why we do certain things on a regular basis n others not...M sure u dun change ur job every other day nor ur shampoo or cream....
And i guess when love fades away from a relatn it is only then that u get bored with ur partner n then ultimately cheat on her/him.......But then there's nothin more beautiful that a relationship which has love, understanding, repect etc ....And i know its too ideal but it does exist....Try it out...M sure u'l be the most happiest man around :)
And according to me vengeance or say d rule 'tit for tat' doesnt work that great.....It is when u leave ur partner feeling miserable about what he/she had done serves the purpose....
BEing cheated on is the greatest torment for any1.....Nd that point of time u feel like what on earth shud i do to punish the other person? But then m sure the proverb 'what goes around, comes around' definitely works....

Nikki said...

These are questions I have been searching an answer to. You might want to look at my post on Infidelity.

Well written and to the point!

SAHITYIKA said...

hey eye-in-sty-in..
what's ur name yaar.. plz tell me..
by d way... by these short stories what r u trying to prove exactly..
the 3rd story was funniest.. n last one.. its a kind of revenge..
but like valerine me too dont believe in this.. i m agree with valerine on most of the points..
may i knw why such kind of post.. sumthing happened with u?? :O

Vyzz said...

yea eisi whats wrong with u man

huh :T

Angel's Flight said...

Man the jokes were good...and thats all that counts

avdi said...

Eisi, the colours are bothering me. It is too dark. try some lighter font for the alphabets.

The jokes I have read here n there. Funny eh !

eye-in-sty-in said...

wow! someone just responded to the blue text.. There were some jokes in it too Ms Valerine! :D

Hi Nikki,
You too were sreacing for them? If/When u get an answer to them, do remember to drop me a line :P
Will chk out the post in a bit...

Hi Sahityika,
My name u ask? Woh bhi public mein? Police complaint karni hai kya :P
I do respond well to EISI, If that doesn't work, try Spike!

Hi Vyzz,
I know you too well! You are certainly high! Dont believe me? Just check ur comment when you sober up :P

Hi Angel,
:D Thank you!

Hi Ava,
I was always bad at color co-ordination. Thats why I never buy my own clothes! You didn't like the electric blue I picked? No worries. Next time they will be a little better! ok da?

SAHITYIKA said...

no no no.. dear..
koi compaint nahi karni..
i thought its better to call u by name.. u don't want to tell?? :(
if not in public.. mail me your name.. :D
sahityika@gmail.com :)
i will wait.. or otherwise i will name u.. n after tht dont complaint to me for name.. :P

eye-in-sty-in said...

Tht was very sweet of you. But I already told you my name. Its Spike!

Vyzz said...

hey spike..wat is wrong with u huh...and wat comment..and wat sober..im not high ok!! I MEAN I WASNTT HMPF!

eye-in-sty-in said...

Hi Vyzz,

but you are now... as you were earlier... btw, one can get high on a lot of things u know... alcohol is just one of the many stimulants, so dont always "blame it on the a..aa..a..aa..alcohol" :P

AD said...

hahahah men are such retards, and they think they can be fool :)

Number 5: serves him right :D

roflindian said...

Hmm Hmmm
Hmmm hmmmm hmmmm!

eye-in-sty-in said...

Hi AD,
Just men? what if its the woman? Should it be no. 5 for her too?

Hi Doc,
:-)

Valerine said...

Well I did read the entire post.....But then ur post reads Cheating....so u c, I wanted to answer that :) Well and over n above its each individual's perspective and choice...... Its like what you sow is what you reap and likewise what you give is what you get :)

AD said...

in any case, serves em right!
a big NO TO INFIDELITY!

Bouncing-Bubble said...

people cheat so to prove they are equal to or worse than animals in some aspects.

eye-in-sty-in said...

Hi Valerine,
Thats very true... but how long before things come to a full circle? Should one just leave things to chance or should they take matters in their own hands is the Q.

Hi AD,
Now we are being fair... equal rules for all n sundry :-)

Hi BB,
Strong words, eh!

Valerine said...

WEll u should definitely take matters in ur hands n lyk I told you nothin works than leavin sayin just nothin...coz silence is a killer....Well try it out the other person will die with guilt.. have tired it n haas worked really amazing ;P

AnjuGandhi said...

enjoyed all of them.

eye-in-sty-in said...

Hi Val,
If u take matters in ur hands, doesnt it mean u dont believe in "what goes arnd, comes arnd"?

Hi Anuj,
Welcome to my blog. Glad u had a laugh:-)

Yword said...

hey spike
still laughing at this one. like someone said -husbands are so "jarring". You could just change husbands to spouses there. Maybe that's why! :)
reminded me of a joke that sought to explain the french word " savoir faire" - who has it really in these cases? the husband or the lover? in the case of the statue i'd say the husband!
cheers

eye-in-sty-in said...

Hi M,
You said it right... Its a good question... "who has it really in these cases?" Hubby or lover? My answer is neither one has it... Its the cheating wife who has it...
In the joke, the husband and the wife both were cheating... so they both had it, right? I mean... they both didn't have exclusivity, loyalty, fidelity, etc but they had what they wanted - change!

PS: Good to hear from you after long time... did you lose your way in blogosphere?

lafemmereva said...

watta brilliant post!! well written!!! I guess variety is the spice of life!

eye-in-sty-in said...

ha ha ha - thats what my 1st GF used to say too :P

Ann Dee said...

The basic reason definitely is lack of the basic bonding in the relationship that leave space to squeeze in a 3rd person. But if I keep that as a yardstick and condition all such cases I have known, I somehow cannot draw a definite pattern. I guess infidelity is a trait as unexplainable as why someone who hates milk would love malai.

And no excuse can be sane enough. If it happens to me tomorrow --- there's no forgiving..NEVER.

eye-in-sty-in said...

Ah! A comment inspired from dear CP's blog, is it now :-))
You are right about the void created due to a lack of understanding between two people. Sometimes, even if there is understanding, bonding, gelling, etc, etc and everything is there, how about temptation and curiosity? or the thrill of doing something bad, hoping no one will discover it?

Btw, isn't the saying "Forgive, but don't forget" ?
What if the person wants to drink the milk and eat the malai too (ok, that was just to tease you, Ann Dee and it was cheesy too... whoops, thats another milk derivative! :P)

Btw, How do you know about Faisal? Just curious? Did you have an avtaar there too?

Ann Dee said...

Haha..so you know where I came from (CP) and where I went to next (rotteneggs).

I do not know Faisal personally, but I was in the same industry and admire him greatly (now dnt relate this to ur infidelity story, willya).

And yep, tht's where I do all my ranting. A prize if you're able to find me there.

eye-in-sty-in said...

Nah... haven't been following u around... you can cancel the restraining order now :-)
as i commented on Cp's blog, I get the comment feed in my email... saw ur comment there... besides, her posts are interesting enough for me to remember even with my feeble memory and the milk/yogurt one was not written too long ago - heck, I even forced her to gimme an award....

same industry? now you have me intrigued, but not enough to make me go investigate! Dont go there so much these days - finding you there would be like looking for a needle in a haystack! Without knowing the prize, do u really expect me to attempt this? What if you just gimme a pat on the back? I cant even sue you as I don't even know who you are!

Ann Dee said...

What can I say, if you want to rip me off that little mirth on a fine Thursday morning (I of course know abt the email feature, how else am I replying to ur comments then?). Boo hooo...

Btw, the prize WAS *a beer* and I had the MS link in my blog.

eye-in-sty-in said...

Now now Ann Dee... why would I be the perpetrator of such a crime and deprive someone of a little joy on a fine Thursday morning!

Just to make things a little more interesting, you can buy me a virtual beer for now... and I get to display it on my blog along with this caption "Ann Dee bows to thee and promises to never ever mess with the smart and cool dude, eye-in-sty-in, at least in this lifetime"

If I lose, I'll buy you a beer and you get the caption "eye-in-sty-in bows to thee and promises never to mess with the sassy Ann Dee"

Deal?

Since I like to play fair, I hope you have removed the link from your blog by now...

If you wanna add any more rules, pls be my guest...

eye-in-sty-in said...

Did someone just chicken out or did their email stop working?

Ann Dee said...

Na re.. After a Thursday morn heartbreak someone just went out to cheer herself with a tuna sub.

If you noticed I already put a WAS on my prize giving plans.

(And there I was...considering upgrading it to a crate of beer and couriering it...impressed with the person's zeal for challenges)

eye-in-sty-in said...

yea yea - crate or tanker! Its all fake till you shake on it! After all, the proof of the pudding is in the eating!

Tell you what, change the WAS to an IS - and I'll settle for just the glass....
Now the only question remains - Are you game enough?

Ann Dee said...

Ah well,
You can never tell,
But what's the use now..
The challenge is already stale :D

I already divulged where exactly to dig for the booty.. How do I know you didn't look up when I was away and my little booty of a link was all exposed on the world wide web..

You lost it Mister (my sympathies ;)

eye-in-sty-in said...

Ha! You certainly dont know me then! If I say I didnt peek, I dont peek... alas, you chickened out when I thought... finally, a girl with some guts! Tch Tch!

Ann Dee said...

And look at this guy..who first says he doesnt have the time, spoils a Thursday morn, then drools at the mention of beer and after I tell him the answer and all, very promptly says he's game. ROFL

And of course I do not know you :D

eye-in-sty-in said...

ha ha ha... well well well - if you mention beer, how can a guy resist :P

And while you may have dropped a hint, but as I said I wont peek - I wont peek. Its called integrity!

eye-in-sty-in said...

I guess now I can assume you backed out and call you a chicken :P

nursemyra said...

some of those jokes are pretty funny.... especially the last one

eye-in-sty-in said...

yep... some of them sure are... My fav was the 1st one :-)
Welcome to my blog :-)

nursemyra said...

thanks eye-in-sty-in.

I'm guessing your blog name is a play on Einstein's name. Any particular reason for that?

eye-in-sty-in said...

perhaps you can find the answer here.... http://eye-in-sty-in.blogspot.com/2009/05/why-is-your-blog-named-thus.html

foreigndesi said...

Haha, I am just going to take this as humour, since the idea's behind them are quite horrible!

But in response to the comments,
I believe I know your name, because you accidentally typed your real gmail when commenting on my blog! But since my blog is also anonymous, I won't post it here :)

eye-in-sty-in said...

gotta be more careful now! Thiswordpress can be a real pain in the .... blog :P

Thank you for being discreet ... since you dont have a profile page even, I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from :-)