Why are most superheroes pathetic loosers?

Take a look at any superhero comic and there is a story that evokes pity from the reader. I mean, come on! These are superheroes...! We mortals are supposed to draw inspiration from them. Instead they are made to look like wimps and we are made to pity them? What is the world coming to...!

For instance lets take Spiderman - He is shown to be a poor-flat-out-broke guy with serious self-confidence issues that affect his performance in the one thing he is supposed to be good at - Crime fighting! Did he forget that he has SUPER POWERS! He is located in America - A country that thrives on violence - Where fighting for money is a Billion dollar industry! When Spidey was young, he was enterprising. He went to win money in fights - but as he grows older he becomes pathetic - he CHOOSES to stay broke! His psyche is affected so badly, if MJ had said yes to him he'd have to call someone for the blue pill! Besides, wasn't this guy a nerdy scientist in school? He had serious brains! How can he be broke??

My advise to him - Did you forget that you can kick some ass in a high prize fight and win serious moolah! Use your creativity and intelligence in something else apart from spinning a web! No wonder you are broke - no pity for you spidey!


Now for Batman - This guy is a business tycoon in real life - he is already rich, successful and famous in business and lives a life most people dream of. But it is not enough - he still has a huge void in his life and is generally depressed. So much so that he has to get his kicks from fighting crime on his own with hi-tech gadgets! Btw, Have you ever seen Batman smile in any of his movies? No!! The guy is so not in tune with his emotions he has even forgotten to smile!

My advise to him - Take a chill pill dude! Life ain't all that bad - have a little fun! Go hang out with Iron man and have some fun - Chillax!


Question for the reader - Why do you think these superheroes have so many issues - Is it because they don't know how to wear their underwear right? Or is it that they do not wear their underwear right because they have so many issues?

And please don't think I forgot our beloved Superman - Don't even get me started on him - He has so many issues, even his movies are not successful at the box-office. And if that was not bad enough, any actor that portrays him on screen - dies!

'Nuff said!