More electrifying than the first! Movie review Crank 2 : High Voltage (2009)

If you liked Crank, you will love Crank 2 or Crank: High Voltage!

Yes people, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor have made my favourite movie even better and now its even electrifying-ly funny(pun intended!).

The movie is Rated R for frenetic strong bloody violence throughout, crude and graphic sexual content, nudity and pervasive language.

The movie is produced by Lakeshore Entertainment and Lionsgate (Lionsgate is the same company that produced the SAW movie series! Exciting bunch of people they are!)

Cast

Jason Statham is Chev Chelios, this time he loses his heart! (not figuratively, but literally!) [Check out the pic]

Dwight Yoakam is Doc Miles, who still has massages from nude ladies and has "Chocolate" for his receptionist. (Any guesses as to why she is called Chocolate?)

Amy Smart is Eve - still blond, but now smarter (lives up to her name, eh!) and savvier (she now has an iPhone) Did I mention she is a stripper?
Corey Haim is Randy - Randy is a pimp, ladies n gentlemen!
[You can see Eve tossing Randy on a car in the pic]

Efren Ramirez is Venus - he is Kaylo's twin brother - also gay with FBT - Full body turrets!

Reno Wilson is Orlando (Again, I forgot who he was... He must still be unimportant!)

Keone Young is Don Kim - a syndicate leader

Art Hsu is Johnny Vang - A guy who is carrying Chev's heart in a ice box! (yep, seriously!)


Ling Bai is Ria - a prostitute saved by Chev who is now smitten by him [Pic on right]

David Carradine is Poon Dong - A 100+ year old mafia honcho who wants Chev's heart and other "well endowed" body parts to keep living his racy lifestyle!

Billy Unger is Young Chev - Watch out for the talk show part in the movie. Its too funny!
Jamie Harris is Talk Show Host and Geri Halliwell is his mom.


Joseph Julian Soria is Chico - A gang .. oh well, see the freaking poster on the left.. lol!

The plot is once again, super simple - Crank 2 starts where Crank left off - Chev falls from a chopper, bounces off a car and lands splat on the street! Before the medics can get to him, he is scooped off the streets (literally with a shovel!). Having survived a deadly Chinese poison - the Beijing cocktail, the gangs want him for his body parts, starting with his heart. So they cut him open n take it and replace it with an artificial 4 chambered battery powered one! (Seen on the left. PS: The heart used in the movie is an actual artificial heart!)

Unfortunately, the heart is designed to sustain the person and is not meant for vigorous, stressful activities! And if you know Chev's lifestyle from Crank, its anything but peaceful! The external battery sustaining the heart is ruined in 10 minutes of him getting it. The internal power only lasts for a short time before the 4 chambered plastic pump would stop. Chev has to keep him self electrically charged by any means necessary to stay alive! The premise has now been set for a lot of weird, shocking, funny moments in the movie!
Oh yes, he also has to retrieve his original heart that has been implanted in Poon Dong after killing a bunch of people while trying to stay alive! no problem at all.. lol!

Like its predecessor, this movie too has its share of unrealistic moments and pushes the 'reality' envelope a lot many times! People who have not watched Crank and who do not know what to expect will find asking themselves "What? How is that possible?". But for the fans of Crank, its all good! Why you ask?

Because this is Crank 2! People going to watch this movie would expect to see something shocking (another attempt at pun), violent, crass and outrageous! They would expect the "in-your-face" outrageous-ness! Without showing these things, the movie would not be fit enough to bear the title of Crank!

********** Warning! Spoilers ahead!!!!!! **********

Here are a few reasons why you should watch this movie!
1. It has Jason Statham in it! The guy simply knows how to entertain! I like his sarcastic dry wit displayed throughout the movie!
2. Random violence!
3. Random nudity!
4. Boob busting moments - A stripper gets shot in the tits and the silicone oozes out of her boobs! Excellent premise for Crank 2 the video game for ones with a twitchy trigger finger!

5. A sex scene on a race track where Eve 'rubs' against Chev to generate static electricity to keep his heart pumping while he is pumping her and a horse jumps over the pair in heat! (How freaking cool is that!) I was LMAO in the movie with the others viewers! (A semi drunk girl even shouted "oh yeah" in the audience! lol)

6. The violence is so big, the directors had to resort to clay-like animation to depict it! It was so freaking cool for me coz it reminded me of the 60's tv show for kids called Giant Robot (It was aired in the 80's on good ol' DoorDarshan!)

7. It has bare chested men of all sizes - tattooed, fat, fit, scrawny, muscular! take your pick and ogle away ladies! (don't miss the tongue and nipple clamp on Chev on yer right) ;-)

8. The titles are in retro-cool 8-bit graphics!

9. There are 2 heart surgeries shown in the movie! A must see for every self respecting wanna be heart surgeon :D

10. It depicts a strike by porn stars. The banners n chants are hilarious!

11. Its a Jason Statham movie and its Crank! Satisfaction guaranteed baby! 'Nuff said!

Watch it and have some cheap thrills and lots of racy, violent, electrifying action! Its a pretty cool movie!

6.5/10 for regular viewers

7/10 for action movie fans

7.5/10 for ones with a quirky sense of humor

8/10 for fans of the series!

Action packed adrenaline pumping movie !! Movie Review: Crank (2006)

When the movie is "Rated R for strong violence, pervasive language, sexuality, nudity and drug use", the audience is pretty much forewarned that this movie is not a family drama, right? So whats the point in trying to write a clean revu of a dirty movie. Here is your warning then....

Warning ! This revu is only for adults. It contains crude language along with references to drug use :-) If you cannot handle foul language, better stop reading right now - no sh!t !!

"Crank" is a smelly, yellow form of "meth" that is usually snorted. However, this review is about the movie by the same name and not about the crude form of "crystal meth" used for addiction and for getting high. For news on crystal meth see - http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/drugs/crystalmeth.html

Cast
Jason Statham ... plays Chev Chelios, a professional assassin who gets poisoned and has to keep himself pumped with adrenaline to stay alive

Amy Smart ... plays "Eve", a dumb blond bimbo who is slow in getting things in perspective but good for sex !

Jose Pablo Cantillo ... plays Ricky Verona, a rival of Chev Chelios

Efren Ramirez ... plays Kaylo, a gay-funny-filler-type character in the movie

Dwight Yoakam ... plays Doc Miles, a smart resourceful doctor who fixes up Crazy Chev and likes getting massages from nude ladies

Carlos Sanz ... plays Carlito, a two timing syndicate leader who deals in drugs, guns and prostitution

Reno Wilson ... plays Orlando (I forget who the hell he was.... must be unimportant... )

Edi Gathegi ... plays an Haitian Cabbie driver who gives Chev some Haitian drug made from plants (he refers to Chev as a crack-head and calls the drug "Haitian plant sh*t".... LOL)

Keone Young ... plays Don Kim, another syndicate leader and a rival of Carlito whom Chev is supposed to kill

Valarie Rae Miller ... plays "Chocolate" (yeah.. that's her name). She is Doc Miles’ assistant cum receptionist (pun intended) and is unscrupulous

Yousuf Azami ... plays an Arab Cabbie (he has a scene involving a reference to Al-Quaida that happens so suddenly, its funny)


Written and directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, Produced by - Lakeshore Entertainment, Lions Gate Films, Radical Media and GreeneStreet Films; Crank is a bad-a$$ action packed adrenaline pumping funny movie that will get you high !!


In the plot, the lead character gets poisoned with a Chinese drug called "the Beijing cocktail" that has no antidote. The drug is inhibiting the absorption of adrenaline in his body eventually shutting down his heart and killing him. To stay alive, he has to keep himself pumped with adrenaline. This leads to a series of crazy events as the protagonist tries various means to stay pumped up while trying to stay focused at the same time and extract vengeance on the people who have poisoned him. While this is certainly not a whodunit, I’ll still only say this much about the plot as you’ll want to see and enjoy the rest yourself.

The plot is slick and simple ! No need to use too much brains... This is a movie that you can just sit back and enjoy. However, its not brainless either - It has repeat value !! I have seen it multiple times and it has managed to keep me in splits each time !! That's how a good action movie should be. It should keep you well entertained amidst all the violence and Crank does just that and does it beautifully !! There is not dull moment in the movie. Once you get into its groove and move along, the thrill ride it’ll take you to is spectacular !!

I liked the movie as i’m a fan of Jason Statham. He is like our own Sanjay Dutt (an actor from India) - A cool bad a$$ who is like able !! His movies are crazy, but they are guaranteed not to bore you and the action is cool, humor is dry and sarcastic and the dialogues are even cooler. You will be entertained... period !! Fultoo paisa vasool !!

The movie has its share of goofs and some are very obvious. The lead character gets shot, but is later seen walking normally. While falling from a chopper, he has enough time to call his GF and leave her a message on the answering machine ... (yeah right !!) Point is - This is not a technically perfect movie and you have to take some scenes with a grain of salt. Although existent, the goofs are few and far in between and I still recommend the movie in spite of these goof-ups.

Top 10 reasons why should you watch this movie ?==============================================================
1. There is a car driven thru a shopping mall that winds up sideways on an escalator.
2. There is a sex scene where the protagonist screws his literally Blond girl-friend in a china town with a bunch of teenage school girls watching and cheering him on !
3. There is a lot of drug use in the movie.
4. It has a Nokia phone in it with a really cool ring tone that generally wakes up the lead character after he has passed out while doing his many crazy antics in the movie.
5. It has a lot of gun action and a couple of cool car chase scene.
6. It has 2 hand chopping scenes and one scene where a sewing machine is used on a hand - Tatopoulos Studios has done the special effects just for these two scenes.[note: one of the hand chopping scenes is actually very funny - After chopping the hand from the arm, Chevy tells his side kick - a f@g - "Wanna hold hands ?" and throws the chopped hand at him - Now you tell me people -- to be able to make a joke like that when you are dying - isn't that funny and cool... !!]
7. If you can handle crude language and drug abuse, along with the start to end action, the movie is interspersed with a lot of humor for the audience.
8. If you want to learn how to steal a bike from a cop at a traffic light !
9. If you want to have some cheap but cool fun :-)
10. If you are a Jason Statham fan. Though I must warn you, if you are not, there is a good chance you might become one after watching this movie :-)

Question- Why are you still reading the fcuking revu, punk !! Get your b#tt to the store, pop the dvd and get your adrenaline pumping, but do it after leaving a comment else you’ll get a bullet in your a$$... punk !! - The movie is full of such dialogues n lingo.

Fist published here by me.