When the movie is "Rated R for strong violence, pervasive language, sexuality, nudity and drug use", the audience is pretty much forewarned that this movie is not a family drama, right? So whats the point in trying to write a clean
revu of a dirty movie. Here is your warning then....
Warning ! This revu is only for adults. It contains crude language along with references to drug use :-) If you cannot handle foul language, better stop reading right now - no sh!t !!"Crank" is a smelly, yellow form of "
meth" that is usually snorted. However, this review is about the movie by the same name and not about the crude form of "crystal
meth" used for addiction and for getting high. For news on crystal
meth see -
http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/drugs/crystalmeth.htmlCastJason Statham ... plays
Chev Chelios, a professional assassin who gets poisoned and has to keep himself pumped with adrenaline to stay alive
Amy Smart ... plays "
Eve", a dumb
blond bimbo who is slow in getting things in perspective but good for sex !
Jose Pablo Cantillo ... plays
Ricky Verona, a rival of
Chev CheliosEfren Ramirez ... plays
Kaylo, a gay-funny-filler-type character in the movie
Dwight Yoakam ... plays
Doc Miles, a smart resourceful doctor who fixes up
Crazy Chev and likes getting massages from nude ladies
Carlos Sanz ... plays
Carlito, a two timing syndicate leader who deals in drugs, guns and prostitution
Reno Wilson ... plays
Orlando (I forget who the hell he was.... must be unimportant... )
Edi Gathegi ... plays an
Haitian Cabbie driver who gives
Chev some Haitian drug made from plants (he refers to Chev as a crack-head and calls the drug "
Haitian plant sh*t"....
LOL)
Keone Young ... plays
Don Kim, another syndicate leader and a rival of
Carlito whom
Chev is supposed to kill
Valarie Rae Miller ... plays "
Chocolate" (yeah..
that's her name). She is
Doc Miles’ assistant cum receptionist (pun intended) and is
unscrupulousYousuf Azami ... plays
an Arab Cabbie (he has a scene involving a reference to Al-
Quaida that happens so suddenly, its funny)
Written and directed by
Mark Neveldine and
Brian Taylor, Produced by -
Lakeshore Entertainment,
Lions Gate Films,
Radical Media and
GreeneStreet Films;
Crank is a
bad-a$$ action packed adrenaline pumping funny movie that will get you high !!
In the plot, the lead character gets poisoned with a
Chinese drug called "
the Beijing cocktail" that has no antidote. The drug is inhibiting the absorption of adrenaline in his body eventually shutting down his heart and killing him.
To stay alive, he has to keep himself pumped with adrenaline. This leads to a series of crazy events as the protagonist tries various means to stay pumped up
while trying to stay focused at the same time and extract
vengeance on the people who have poisoned him. While this is certainly not a
whodunit, I’ll still only say this much about the plot as you’ll want to see and enjoy
the rest yourself.
The plot is
slick and
simple ! No need to use too much brains... This is a movie that you can just sit back and enjoy. However, its not brainless either - It has repeat value !! I have seen it multiple times and it has managed to keep me in splits each time !!
That's how a good action movie should be.
It should keep you well entertained amidst all the violence and Crank does just that and does it beautifully !! There is not dull moment in the movie. Once you get into its groove and move along, the thrill ride it’ll take you to is spectacular !!
I liked the movie as
i’m a fan of Jason Statham. He is like our own
Sanjay Dutt (an actor from India) - A cool bad a$$ who is
like able !! His movies are crazy, but they are guaranteed not to bore you and the action is cool, humor is dry and sarcastic and the dialogues are even cooler.
You will be entertained... period !! Fultoo paisa vasool !!The movie has its share of goofs and some are very obvious. The lead character gets shot, but is later seen walking normally. While falling from a chopper, he has enough time to call his
GF and leave her a message on the answering machine ... (yeah right !!) Point is -
This is not a technically perfect movie and you have to take some scenes with a grain of salt.
Although existent, the goofs are few and far in between and I still recommend the movie in spite of these goof-ups.
Top 10 reasons why should you watch this movie ?==============================================================
1. There is a car driven
thru a shopping mall that winds up sideways on an escalator.
2. There is a sex scene where the protagonist screws his literally
Blond girl-friend in a china town with a bunch of teenage school girls watching and cheering him on !
3. There is a lot of drug use in the movie.
4. It has a
Nokia phone in it with a really cool
ring tone that generally wakes up the lead character after he has passed out while doing his many crazy antics in the movie.
5. It has a lot of gun action and a couple of cool car chase scene.
6. It has 2 hand chopping scenes and one scene where a sewing machine is used on a hand -
Tatopoulos Studios has done the special effects just for these two scenes.[note: one of the hand chopping scenes is actually very funny -
After chopping the hand from the arm, Chevy tells his side kick - a f@g - "Wanna hold hands ?" and throws the chopped hand at him - Now you tell me people -- to be able to make a joke like that when you are dying - isn't that funny and cool... !!]7. If you can handle crude
language and drug abuse, along with the start to end action, the movie is interspersed with a lot of humor for the audience.
8. If you want to learn how to steal a bike from a cop at a traffic light !
9. If you want to have some cheap but cool fun :-)
10. If you are a Jason
Statham fan. Though I must warn you, if you are not, there is a good chance you might become one after watching this movie :-)
Question-
Why are you still reading the fcuking revu, punk !! Get your b#tt to the store, pop the dvd and get your adrenaline pumping, but do it after leaving a comment else you’ll get a bullet in your a$$... punk !! - The movie is full of such dialogues n lingo.
Fist published
here by me.