Cheating...!

Why do people cheat? Isn't one person enough?

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell
asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub
them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had
sex all afternoon."

"You lying bastard!

You've been playing golf!"


And its not just limited to men! A recent study in found that Australian women are as equally interested in an orgy as men! That may not necessarily mean its cheating though...

The 2nd Affair:


A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a
son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the
two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"



If we know that one spouse can get boring, is ok to deliberately wander every so often? We don't eat the same food everyday because it is boring...


The 3rd Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front
door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I
got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich
and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the
Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."



Is vengeance the right answer?

The 4th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought.

He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle
of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.

"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied,

"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."



Or is homicidal vengeance the answer?

The 5th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best
friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."


Why do some people cheat? Is it because they are hurt by others? Is it ok to cheat if you have been cheated on? or should one just curse their luck and move on...